My Reading Spot

Back in January my school started a Biggest Loser Competition.  They have it every year.  You make a measurable goal (lose 10 pounds, lose certain number of inches, run or walk a certain number of miles).  Last year, when I was a teacher’s aide, I signed up. I thought it would be a great way to get going.  I also signed up for the KSL 10 pound challenge too. 

I failed miserably at both of them.

I put on 20 pounds since moving back to our home town.  I quit nursing our last baby.  We looked and interviewed for some jobs.  We started a practice completely from scratch. Nope, I haven’t been stressed at all in the past two years.  But you can pass me that pan of brownies and I can take care of it for you.

So 20 pounds came and 20 pounds looked like they wanted to stay.

I tried the Biggest Loser Challenge.  I tried the KSL 10 pound challenge.  

Then in May I decided to start running.
I decided this was going to be the way to lose it all.
So I ran.
and I ran.
and I ran.

I ran a couple races.  I ran my first half marathon in January.

and I still haven’t made a dent in the weight.
Honestly, I will fluctuate within 5 pounds.  Up and down.  But if I take a weekly average, it is the same thing.  Every week.  Every time.

I know what you are thinking.  I built muscle.  Yes.  I have. 

Back to the Biggest Loser.  In January I decided to sign up.  It would start a week after my half marathon so it would give me something to keep working towards.

I think just to play a mean joke on me, my scale showed 3 less pounds this morning.  The day after I had to turn in my final weigh-in.  But like I said, it will be back tomorrow.  It never stays off.  I’m not the winner of biggest loser this year.  But I did finish my goal.  I might get back my entrance fee to participate, since all the people who made their goal get a portion of the money back.

But here’s the real deal…

This morning I was grumbling and thinking about this. (Ask my husband, I have complained a LOT about this) I have been so frustrated with it.  But then the thought came to me…I am SO much stronger than I was.


Just like life….
The past couple years have been stressful.  We’ve had trials and then trials added upon the trials.  Someday it doesn’t feel like some of these will never end. 
 It doesn’t feel like we haven’t lost any weight at all.  
But in the end we are stronger.

Sometimes you have to look at where you have been to see just how far you’ve come.
A year ago I couldn’t run a mile without stopping.  I thought I would die.  Now I’ve finished a half marathon and signed up for 2 more!  
A ten miler on Saturday no longer scares me.

Trials will still come no matter what.  But we have to stop and give our self credit for where we have been and where we have come.  We still might not be where we want to be.  I still might not have won the Biggest Loser. But I’ve come pretty far.

Sometimes life hands us disabilities, challenges, situations that we cannot control. Big things. Some things we have to make peace with and learn to live with. We have to do our best and just keep going.   Just like these stubborn pounds.  I think they are here.  I think they are final.  Sometimes life surprises us, and things get easier. 

I need to learn to focus on what I can do.  Just like setting a mileage goal that gives me something to work for, I need to strengthen the things in life that can change.  That can help me.  I can strengthen my testimony.  I can focus on my scripture study.  On my prayers.  On my family.  On my church attendance and service.

Maybe the pounds will magically melt off at some point, right?  Maybe all the hard challenges in life might disappear.

But I need to be ok if they don’t.  
I need to remember to enjoy the journey.

Because I’ve had some pretty good times running in the past year.  I’ve got great family and friends.  I’ve got some good support.  And while weight loss would be awesome.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t trade that for the friendships that I’ve formed.

So I might not be the Biggest Loser.
But I’m heading forward.  (2 half marathons this summer!)
 Trying my best.  And enjoying the journey.